So, Zero

Some days you just start at an energy level way above normal, I mean you are ready to get it all done, you are thinking clearly, focused, accomplishing everything on your list and it isn’t even time for a coffee break yet…I mean a pretty great day, you did so much this morning why not go golfing this afternoon (or skiing for those inflicted with “winter-love” sickness). But then, then there are those other days. I don’t mean normal days, where you feel fine, get stuff done, leave work and are tired but okay.

I mean those terrible, start at zero, days. The days when picking your clothes is a monumental task. Those days where making a decision seems to take everything you have. You go to work, and sit at your desk feeling exactly like Peter Gibbons in the movie “Office Space”. Those days where meetings suck the very life out of you, those days where at the end of the day, you can barely get out to your car, never mind get ready for a hectic home life. Maybe you are a student and learning something is absolutely beyond your ability. Getting through the day takes a marathon running-like expenditure.

Some people will never understand this, but for those of us that have those days, it is hard to know what to do…I mean, I’m not sick, but I’m not well either. Staying home doesn’t help, but at least it is less energy output.

I know someone who is going through this right now, I mean this very day, and probably about 3 times a week, she is at zero to start her day. I feel for her, I know what it is like to be at zero and see the Everest like mountain of a day ahead of me. She is a student, and has to overcome the zero to accomplish something everyday. It seems impossible some days, but this is her life right now.

Some of you will immediately think of depression and medication and you would be right, but that doesn’t help her today, at best changing medication (especially anti-depression medication) takes 6-8 weeks to see real change. So she is left with zero today. I want to take her load, but learning isn’t something you can do for someone else, I can ease the pressure for today, but not for the week, and anything not done today is still there tomorrow.

All I can do, and it seems so woefully useless, is understand, is stand with her (okay sit beside her, cause really standing takes energy too) and say, I get it, I’m here, I care. It is not enough, but it is more than nothing, and maybe, just maybe, my support will help her to feel a little better than zero, cause zero, well it just plain sucks.

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